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Fucking Mother Fucker News from 02/02/2008

Because I have nothing better to do with my time, I'm going to write about a bunch of random shit and you're going to read it (if you know what's good for you, motherfucker). First off, I need to make mention of Britney Spears being in a psych ward because it seems like the cool thing to do today. But because everyone already knows about that, how about that Eva Mendes bitch going to rehab? With that important news wrapped up, I can move on to more important things.

I suggest you put on adult diapers or stay near a toilet if you're going to watch this next video, because I'm pretty sure you might piss yourself laughing. This is probably the funniest video on YouTube. If that video doesn't leave your pants drenched in piss, then there might be something wrong with you. Maybe you need a Hawaii Chair? In other news, Sarah Silverman is fucking Matt Damon and Microsoft is going to fuck Yahoo.

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To jumpstart your limp-ass dick, here is a video from those assholes over at 40ozBounce.com. Their site is brand new and is already kicking the shit out of pretty much every other porn site out there! Enjoy the trailer.

If there is a better idea out there than pouring 40oz bottles of malt liquor on chicks' asses while they're getting fucked, then please enlighten me. I can't think of one. I also came across this site ChasinGirls.com yesterday and they probably have some of the best quality solo girl and lesbian pictures and videos I've ever seen. Their videos are so high quality that you almost feel like you're right there with these chicks to fuck them.

Moving right the fuck along, your mom told me to call you and tell you she's busy shitting on glass tables while random co-workers lay below them and beat off, so she won't be home until late. She better wipe good or they're gonna call her Mrs. Poopie! You're gonna have to cook your own dinner tonight, you fucking faggot. XOXO

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