This is the best fucking Christmas special around in 2006!

With every important holiday, there must be a stupid update written by yours truly about the history of that particular holiday. Considering this is Christmas and only heathens don't know what Christmas is about, I'm not going to do that. Instead I will get right to the point. The point being half-naked chicks dressing up as sexy Santa's helpers to make you want to stroke your cock in the Christmas spirit. Please wash your hands when you're done, because nobody wants to have your cum-grease all over anything you touch after beating off.

FIRST THING'S FIRST: ELF YOURSELF, MOTHER FUCKER!

This year's fucking Christmas babes are hotter than a fireplace! Unload your sack!

Melissa
Party
Kate
Kate
Karen
Krissy
Tera
Tera
Lesbians

Snow slut
Uglies
4 movies
Raven
Samantha
Nicole
Lesbos
Foursome
Britney

Princess
Allie
Bailey
Luba
Fabi
Tree
Terri
Hamster
Alison

Guitar
Jana
Hot Xmas
Cam babes
Cam vid
Nella
Andi
Santa
Asian

Great last minute gift ideas from the Fucking Motherfucker! Because I know just what you need to buy!
- A FastSize Extender is a great gift to give this Christmas. Who doesn't want a bigger dick?! -
- Gift cards - Whether it be from an electronics store or a restaurant, you can't go wrong with a gift card. It shows you are useless at picking out gifts. -
- Porn memberships! - Give the gift of porn! -
- A funny t-shirt from T-Shirt Hell -
- iPod - It's the latest craze or something. -
- Jewelry - Women are always up for getting any type of jewelry. -
- A car - This only applies to people who aren't poor. -
- A pet - Who doesn't love a little kitten? Or, in my case, a big fucking monster kitten that rips your arm to shreds with its devil claws. -
- A dildo. Your grandmother will appreciate this more than anything else you could think of, because she's a dirty slutbag! -

Vicky
Irene
Mindy
Santa's helper
Xmas love
Santa hats
Flat-as-fuck
Melissa
Bettie

Dani
Danya
Karen
Ho ho ho!
Karla
Xmas
Videos
Kate
Andy

Now that we have all the sexy Xmas babes out of the way, we can move on to other things. These other things will consist of booze, food and stupid fucking Christmas videos.

Alcoholic beverages that should be consumed during the holidays. Only if you're allowed to legally drink of course!
- Vast amounts of beer. This can be canned, bottled or from tap. Whatever pleases your fat-ass beer belly. -
- Wine, if you're stupid snobby asshole. -
- Cognac to relax after your family has mindfucked you for 2 consecutive days. -
- Vodka if you want to get completely fucked one night and puke all over the Christmas tree. -
- Whiskey to drown your sorrow when you've received nothing but shitty gifts. -
- Champagne to celebrate the fact that Christmas is motherfucking awesome. -

A quick list of Christmas foods that absolutely must be consumed during the holidays!
- Gingerbread - Mmm tasty. -
- Candy canes - Ram that sugar into yourself so you become a diabetic sooner rather than later. -
- Xmas cookies - Eat all the cookies, all the cookies! -
- Duck... duck... duck... duck... duck... GOOSE! -
- Candy... oh candy... lots of candy! Mmm candy! Sugar overdoses for all the children! -
- Steak - No week is complete without having at least one steak. -

My buddy Joe's crazy friend riding his motorcycle wearing a Santa hat!

Video courtesy of 4TheRiders.com!

MERRY MOTHERFUCKING CHRISTMAS AND A HO HO HO!

Melissa	Party	Kate	Kate	Karen	Krissy	Tera	Tera	Lesbians
Snow slut	Uglies	4 movies	Raven	Samantha	Nicole	Lesbos	Foursome	Britney
Princess	Allie	Bailey	Luba	Fabi	Tree	Terri	Hamster	Alison
Guitar	Jana	Hot Xmas	Cam babes	Cam vid	Nella	Andi	Santa	Asian

Vicky	Irene	Mindy	Santa's helper	Xmas love	Santa hats	Flat-as-fuck	Melissa	Bettie
Dani	Danya	Karen	Ho ho ho!	Karla	Xmas	Videos	Kate	Andy