02.26.2014 - Pawn That Pussy! - My buddy Jeff operates a Pawn Shop in LA and always has women trying to fuck him to get a better deal on the shit they're attempting to sell him. So he decided to film himself fucking these chicks... before he gives them a shitty deal and kicks them out of his store! You'll love this shit. Click here or on the banner below to check out Pawn That Pussy!
02.14.2014 - Happy Valentine's Day! - I wish all you motherfuckers a happy fucking V-Day. Try not to get VD when you're banging that dirty sloot you call a girlfriend/wife/hooker.
Tonight's Girlfriend will really rock your world when you're chaturbating with the dirtiest cam whores the Internet has to offer. That's a pretty good way to pitch you some HD porn and webcam skanks in one sentence, right?
Happy fapping, you worthless fuck.
02.10.2014 - V-Day! - If you're too ugly and/or stupid to get laid this Valentine's Day, at least fap to some Valentine's Day porn or watch hot whores masturbate on webcam. Let the bean flicking commence, ladies!
Enjoy yourselves and remember that March 14th is Steak & BJ Day to make up for the bullshit of Valentine's Day.
02.05.2014 - Your Dad is Your Mom! - WOT M8?!
The Denver Broncos got the everliving shit kicked out of them by the Seattle Seahawks in one of the most brutal defeats in Super Bowl history. Moving on...
Philip Seymour Hoffman probably injected a bunch of heroin and died. PROBABLY. RIP
I'm just late on everything, aren't I? I have told you motherfuckers that I think Step Siblings is one of the most fucked up porn sites ever made, right? Is that really the truth though? Do I really think that? Probably not. I mean... Latina Abuse is easily more fucked up. So are at least half of the Dog Fart sites.
Read it and weep, ladies and gentlemen! Time to eat some breakfast.
01.31.2014 - Super Hole Sunday! - With the Super Bowl going down this weekend, Brazzers is celebrating Super Hole Sunday with $1 trial memberships. Yeah, one fucking dollar gets you in this weekend! Below is the hilarious banner they sent me for this promotion.
01.30.2014 - Almost February! - I hope you fuckheads are all having a wonderful week. Enjoying some drinks with friends and butt fucking a bevy of heavenly blessed beauties.
It's a badass new way of shooting POV (point of view) porn to really make you feel like you're fucking the girl yourself. They use just the right angles, top of the line camera equipment AND 3D surround sound to really make you feel like you're there. Put on your headphones while you watch their videos for the best experience!
Now fuck off!
01.22.2014 - New Colors for Ultimate Surrender! - The best site on the Internet got a makeover. Both the site and wrestling mats went from black & green to white & red. Click here to check it out at Ultimate Surrender! If you don't like it, come here... I have a bag of dicks for you to eat. A big bag of dicks. And I'm out.
01.14.2014 - This is me... - pretending to give a fuck. Enjoy!
01.07.2014 - Tila Tequila Celeb Sex Tape with Anal - Tila Nguyen, who you probably know as Tila Tequila, did a hot celebrity sex tape with anal and squirting that you need to check out. I already slapped up a banner you can't miss for it, so just click on that fucker and watch the trailer.
The sex tape trailer will convince you that you need to watch the entire fuck video of this beautiful Asian celebrity goddess. Born in Singapore and raised in Texas, Tila Tequila is now famous for appearing in Playboy, Maxim, her MTV show 'A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila' and probably some shit I don't even know about. And now... now she's also famous for getting fucked in the ass and squirting pussy juice all over the place in her sex tape!
01.02.2014 - Happy New Year! - I hope all you motherfuckers got completely shitfaced and didn't blow off your hands with fireworks (so you can still fap). Enjoy yourselves!
12.30.2013 - End of 2013! - Another year you've survived to the bitter end. Get drunk and bang some booty holes to celebrate.
12.24.2013 - Merry Fucking Christmas! - I've been too busy to post much, but I'm not too busy to post this: MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS!
12.14.2013 - Eat a bag of dicks! - Looks like all you fuckboys managed to survive Friday the 13th without getting your dicks and heads chopped off. Congrats on being alive (for the time being)!
In case any of you motherfuckers are looking to get laid over the weekend (who wouldn't be), I can only recommend Hook Up. I got an account on there a couple weeks ago and already smashed four decent chicks. Get a free account and see if you like it enough for a subscription. It's cheaper than hookers either way.
12.01.2013 - December! - I hope you motherfuckers had a good time stuffing your fat faces with food this Thanksgiving. Now it's time to get ready for Christmas and prepare your anus for some cash dropping on gifts for people you might not even give a fuck about.
The Detroit Lions are my favorite NFL team and they whooped the fuck out of the Green Bay (Fudge) Packers on Thursday. Here to celebrate with us is the beautiful Kendra Lust. Lawd... dat MILF ass. Go Lions! Fuck shit up, Megatron. And hnnnngggggggghhhhhhhh Kendra Lust.
11.11.2013 - Playboy reality porn! - The guys over at Playboy have taken reality porn to the next level with their Playboy TV web site, which features a variety of reality porn shows in several genres (i.e. drama and comedy). My favorite shows so far are Badass, Beach House and Hardcore Partying.
11.04.2013 - Congrats! - You made it through Halloween weekend without eating razor blades or drinking yourself into a coma. To start the week off right with a fuckton of porn that you could never watch in a lifetime, get yourself memberships to Brazzers, Bang Bros and Reality Kings. They're still the biggest porn sites that update daily, so they're the best 'bang for your buck' (trial memberships are literally available for $1). For the kinkier shit, check out Kink On Demand. Do it. Do it now, motherfucker!
10.31.2013 - Halloween porn! - Happy fucking Halloween, motherfuckers! Below is some special Halloween porn for you.
10.28.2013 - Halloween is coming! - With Halloween right around the corner, you can bet your ass that porn sites will be releasing some crazy Halloween-themed porn. Brazzers already released a creepy-as-fuck clown porn video that you won't soon forget.
I'll keep you motherfuckers updated on the latest Halloween porn, but here are a few gems to keep you busy in the meantime: Sexy Asian nurse swallows Boogie Man's load | Evil nurse abducts Little Red Riding Whore | Lesbian Halloween costume party
Don't have a date yet for Halloween? Meet someone on Adult Friend Finder. Depending on how ugly you are, you'll either find a hot chick to serenade and maybe bang... or you'll end up at a swinger party banging nasty old cougars with gaping snatches. Either way, it should be a fun time! Now fuck off.
10.25.2013 - Weekend Site Recommendation! - For this weekend, I recommend you check out this creepy voyeur pervert site Pervs On Patrol. You can get a trial membership for $1 to see what it's all about and they update at least once a week with some great amateur spy & fuck footage.
10.20.2013 - It's no secret! - I like Asians and I like bacon, but teen sluts sure can annoy the fuck out of you sometimes. Furthermore, banging people's hot wives is usually a bad idea when that motherfucker of a husband has guns.
10.06.2013 - Porn descriptions explained... - I came across a funny graphic with a cynical (and probably accurate) description of various porn categories. I decided to elaborate on these with my favorite sites in each category.
Basically, I'm trying to shove a bunch of porn in your face with the hope that you will buy a metric fuckton of memberships and make me rich in the process!
amateur - This might be amateur or the HD camera is broken (or doesn't exist). - #1 amateur site: Spy Vids
18 - She was... once. - #1 18yo site: 18 Years Old
wife - 25+ years old - #1 wife site: Real Wife Stories
MILF - 30+ years old - #1 MILF site: MILFs Like It Big
mature - 40+ years old - #1 mature site: Pure Mature
my gf - I wish I was fucking chicks this hot. - #1 GF site: MyGF
girl next door - I paid to work with this pornstar. Isn't she cute? - #1 girl next door site: I Know That Girl
first time - Yeah... maybe the first time today! - #1 first timer site: Backroom Casting Couch
stupid - I hate women and you should too! - #1 stupid site: Public Disgrace
slut - See above. - #1 slut site: Sluts With Phones
whore - See above. - #1 whore site: Tonight's Girlfriend
bitch - See above. - #1 bitch site: Submit Your Bitch
spanish, latina, etc. - She looks Spanish to me. - #1 Latina site: My Dirty Latina
nurse - No qualifications were checked. - #1 nurse site: Doctor Adventures
cop - We had handcuffs in the office. - #1 cop site: Caged Tushy
businesswoman - Yeah, in the porn business. - #1 businesswoman site: Naughty Office
romantic - They kiss first and there is music playing before they fuck. - #1 romantic site: Passion HD
If you can't find a hot cam girl you want to watch on Chaturbate, there is probably something seriously wrong with you.
10.02.2013 - Government Closed! - If you're not working because you're a government employee and anarchy has broken out, you should at least buy some American porn. Help pour money into the US economy with a membership to Naughty America. Why? Because... 'Merica.
09.26.2013 - New glory hole porn! - The fellas over at Bang Bros are at it again with their new glory hole section they liked to call Glory Hole Loads. So far it contains 16 full HD glory hole blowjob and fuck videos with plenty more to come. Plus you get access to the rest of Bang Bros, which is probably my favorite porn site right now.
09.20.2013 - Bang Bros Gangbangs! - The crazy bastards over at Bang Bros just tossed up a new section called 'Slutty White Girls', which features beautiful white women getting gang fucked. I'll toss up a few videos from that throughout next week, so stay tuned for that or just sign up at Bang Bros for a dollar and get the full length videos instead.
09.09.2013 - Football is back! - With football season started, my weekends are now a clusterfuck of lifting weights, eating, sleeping and watching the fooseball! I'll try to get back into the swing of things and provide you motherfuckers with some new fap material.
09.01.2013 - Good night, sweet weekend! - The weekend is fucking over. It's time for you to get back to work and for me to continue to infest the Internet with pornography. Imagine if your job was to fuck 18yo college freshman girls. Maybe then you wouldn't want to slash your wrists, lay in hot bath water and bleed to death while you weep. Die while you cry. Maybe there is some truth to that. Lesbian step sisters really exist too, because porn is always based on a true story. And... I'm off to eat some eggs and bacon.
08.31.2013 - Last Day of Naughty America Special! - Today is the last day that you can grab yourself a $9.95/month membership for Naughty America. It's their End of Summer Special. Enjoy the rest of your weekend and get a membership to help support the American porn industry (and to fap to what it produces for you).
08.27.2013 - Oh boy! - I was just fucking around, browsing through some Kink sites, when I came across a few interesting pictures. I decided to download these magnificent images, which may or may not shock and disturb you to some degree. Enjoy! (Or don't... I don't really give a fuck.) Specific sites the pictures are from (in order of appearance): Foot Worship | Electro Sluts | Device Bondage | The Training of O
08.23.2013 - Fuckstar Movies - This one is fucking awesome! The crazy motherfuckers over at Brazzers decided to hire a metric fuckton of top notch pornstars to film an insane amount of porn parodies. The site with all the parodies is called Fuckstar Movies. Some of the movie names: Pump Fiction, Insextion, Quantum of Sluts, Eyes Wide Slut, European Psycho, I Am Cock... and of course Sex Fighter. Watch 'em all here.
08.19.2013 - In the Crack! - There is a relatively new site called In the Crack, which gets up close and personal in women's cracks. Their pussies and assholes get spread wide open and high definition cameras film them. The end result are the best quality pussy and ass closeup videos and pictures you will ever see. Go to inthecrack.com. A few samples: Jada Stevens, who might have the best ass in the business. | Remy LaCroix, who might have the brownest asshole in the world. | Cassie Laine & Breanne Benson, because sandy lesbians at the beach are a fantasy every man should have.
08.18.2013 - Enjoy Your Weekend! - I hope you motherfuckers are enjoying your weekend with some summer cookouts and all that fun shit. If you're home alone, at least go chaturbate with some hot cam sloots.
08.11.2013 - Naughty America Rules! - Naughty America continues to run their end of summer special, offering a month of membership for only $9.95. Meanwhile, not a single fuck is given by other big porn sites like Reality Kings, Bang Bros, Brazzers and Mofos. They have all kept their prices the same. Obviously you can still get $1 trial memberships for all of them, but a full month of Naughty America access easily tops that.
08.06.2013 - New Site! - There is a new site called Interracial GF Videos, which features hot white girls getting fucked by big black monster cocks. These sloots love the BBC. $1 trials are available, so you can just check out the site and watch some of these white teens get plowed by huge black dicks in sex tapes. I think you'll end up with a monthly subscription, but go ahead and try it out first. It's like crack seeing a tiny white girl get her mouth, pussy and ass stretched to the max by a gigantic black monster cock.
08.02.2013 - Naughty America End of Summer Special! - Naughty America is doing their End of Summer Special all throughout the month of August! That means you can grab a month of unlimited access to Naughty America for $9.95 all month long. The annual membership, which works out to $7.95/month is still a better deal, but for one month only $9.95 is pretty fucking badass.
08.01.2013 - Kelly Madison on Brazzers! - Brazzers (arguably the biggest porn site ever) will be releasing their first scene with Kelly Madison on August 5th! If you don't know who Kelly Madison is, here are the basics on this super-pornstar: Naturally busty housewife/MILF with enormously glorious 34FF natural tits. Did I mention that she loves to fuck? Her web sites are KellyMadison.com, Porn Fidelity (a site where her husband bangs other cougars, but sometimes Kelly joins in for threesomes) and Teen Fidelity (a site where her husband bangs hot teen sluts). The Madisons have been cranking out top notch porn together for years now.
07.31.2013 - End of July! - It's the end of the month. See you motherfuckers on the other side. Because I have nothing worthwhile to post today, check out these weird and/or sexy music videos: Scarlet Chives - The Timber Will Fall | Robin Thicke featuring Pharrell and TI - Blurred Lines (Explicit Version) | Fidlar featuring Nick Offerman (Ron Motherfuckin' Swanson!) - Cocaine ... That is all.
07.28.2013 - Summer Cookout! - Nothing beats a nice summer cookout (which some of you might falsely call a BBQ) with bacon cheese burgers and beer. Fuck yeah!
07.24.2013 - The Great 2013 Fuckuh Coma! - Today, on this sacred day that will forever be mourned by millions, the tube site that I help run with my scumbag friend Tony called Fuckuh ate shit for a few hours. It's now back in business and you can fap on relentlessly to tranny, lesbian and anal porn. My absolute favorite all time porn video is still the Karissa Shannon celebrity sex tape, but this fucked up video of a Cock Competition game show with monster cock anal is definitely a close 2nd. Now fuck off. I have to go toss up more porn for you assholes.
07.21.2013 - Sunday Funday! - Sunday really is a fun day, when the weather is nice enough for an evening cookout with lots of beer and steak. Possibly a spit roast? Enjoy the rest of your weekend, motherfucker!
07.17.2013 - Hump Day! - Because it's Wednesday (a day that might make some of you want to commit suicide), here are some hot new videos and picture galleries: Blonde step sisters licking each other | Tight teen gets more than a massage | Petite black teen getting fucked | Lesbian step sister threesome | Sexy gym rat fucked after an outdoor workout | Blonde college freshman Britney gets her tight teen snatch pounded
07.13.2013 - Workout Hotties! - I love sexy women that work out. I don't know why, but seeing a hot chick lift some weights is quite desirable. Flexible ones are the best, but I'd bang just about any sloot who is into sports.
07.07.2013 - I Like Asians! - Do you like Asian girls? I like Asian girls. I like to watch them get fucked in every hole they have! I should probably move to Asia.
07.06.2013 - Val Midwest! - You may remember Melissa Midwest. Val Midwest is basically the new version of Melissa. She's a crazy 18yo hottie from Lincoln, Nebraska. She enjoys public nudity, masturbating on webcam, getting arrested for getting naked in front of her Catholic high school, and... lesbian sex. Her real name is Valerie Dodds and she's also been in a music video with Fieldhouse. It's pretty shitty, but who cares? She's hot-as-fuck! I'll leave you with some pictures of Valerie.
07.04.2013 - 4th of July! - It's the 4th o' fuckin' July. 'Merica... FUCK YEAH! Whether you're having a 4th of July foursome, a boring-ass BBQ or some crazy party with fireworks, enjoy your independence and freedom.
07.03.2013 - What would you do for money? - Would you fuck in public for some extra beer money? Maybe you'd participate in a game of pussy slip n slide? Who knows, but I think for the right amount of money we'd all do some crazy shit. Just putting that out there. Think about the weirdest shit you'd do for money.
06.22.2013 - Tranny vs Female? - Random thought: Is watching trannies fuck women weirder than heterosexual porn?
06.17.2013 - Lift Bros! - Some of you may know that I enjoy strength training. I decided to make a web site about it called Lift Bros, which covers gym-related topics like training, nutrition and recovery. Along with that, I throw in videos and pictures that are either educational or funny. If you're a gym rat or someone looking to get more active, check it out.
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